Master Foo's Institute of Technology

Tutorial the Zeroth - Prerequisites

Tut 0 - Prerequisites

Just when you thought you were going to actually learn something! It's not too bad, though. We just want you to have:

Whew, that's alot of knowledge right off the bat! We'll take this one item at a time...

Typing

If you were awake, you probably noticed that I put in typing twice. Especially if you're going to go past the first set of tutorials, you want to know how to touchtype. Heck, it'll help you with any computer related job. It's quite easy to learn how to type: just hop on your favorite im client1 and talk to your friends without looking at the keyboard. Look down? YOU'RE A FAILURE!!! 2 Seriously, though, if you can't do that, either because you don't have friends or some authoritative figure doesn't buy the excuse (I'm working on my typing skills, not slacking off!) try typing this without looking:

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Now, do it again. And again. Until you can just pound it out without even thinking. Now you know how to touchtype! Well, you might get bored of the brown fox, so you can make up your own, or use these:

See? Surely you have something better to entertain yourself with as you're typing. So, just do that for at least a month (don't plop down money for a program that will teach you to type, unless that helps you.), and you'll be on your way. If you want to be rebellious, you can learn how to use the dvorak layout 4.

Reading english, taking care of yourself

Reading enlish is imperative, because we didn't have the time nor resources to make translations. If you got this far, you're okay, unless it took you 3+ hours to do so. If that was a problem, you might want to brush up on your english first. Reading books is a good idea: try Enders Game, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, or the Martian Chronicles for a couple of sci-fi related books. Taking care of yourself consists of washing behind your ears, not playing WoW for 50 hours and then dying, and not sitting up at 1 am in the morning sharing your computer knowledge, like the current writer is doing. Those everyday things, like taking breaks every hour or so to prevent your eyeballs from dying out or burning your retinas. Eat well, exercise a bit, and do some math (keeps the mind nimble).

Google

I have not yet met a nerd that has not liked google.com. It's clean, simple, and they provide fast web search. From now on, google is your friend 5. If you have a question that is not answered here, google should find it: if not, try different ways of phrasing your question, and then, only then, should you ask for help from the true hackers, where ever you can find them. Come with relevant information pretaining to your problem, and tell them what you've already tried. If you want a full treatment on how to ask for help on the internet, try this.6.

Legal copies of windows

Preferably a copy of xp that's legal, so you don't get sued or stuck when you can't reinstall because you don't have a license. Yes, I know the terms are restrictive, but it just makes things easier: if you insist, you can download a desktop linux and try that for a month. That's outside the scope of this set of tutorials, though.

Also, before I forget, make sure you have a computer on hand. Just checking.

Passion and Dedication

If you aren't going to be excited and ready to learn, we can't teach you. You can't learn, so you might as well waste your time elsewhere.

Your first tutorial

Before we get started, we'll have a tutorial on how to read the tutorials!

We have constructs that we call notes, in which they look like the box below. If you click on them (you might have to click twice), then some more writing will unfold. Most of the time, the information inside isn't essential, and only if you want to read more about the topic (in this case, the usage of 'we and I' throughout the tutorial) then you can unfold the note.

We and I

First, we'll sometimes switch between using the we and I pronouns. Sometimes, a statement just doesn't make sense in the plural form, or we didn't all do something (we all have our strong areas) and so writing 'we' would be lying.

Another construct is the footnote7. There should be a little number next to the word 'footnote': click on it, and it'll take you to the bottom of the page, where all the footnotes are. Just hit back to get back to where you were. The topics in footnotes are usually less relevant than the information in notes, or are not as important as notes, and thus don't warrant being put into a note. They are still important, though.

The last construct is a definition. Just put your pointer over the word definition, and there should be a little box that pops up next to the word. If you can't read it, I suggest glasses. If you already have glasses, I suggest you schedule another appointment.

So what are we waiting for? Let's go!


1 im clients are "internet telephones", whereas you type instead of talk, and you can talk to several people at once. All without paying money.
2 this is terrible writing style for the internet, btw.; you never should type in all caps.
3 useful in some intense im conversations.
4 The qwerty layout wasn't very well designed: it really wasn't designed at all. But back in the mists of time, someone came up with a new design that was more efficient and comfortable (which is, of course, subjective. I use it, and it's okay.). You could type 200 wpm on it. But no one knows about it because qwerty took over, and no one really bothered to look. So, if you are at all intrigued, you can do a google search or follow this link, and keep in mind you merely must memorize all the keys, because most people won't let you rearrange their keyboards. It took me around a month to relearn typing with dvorak.
5 If you want to be really hardcore, or if you want to go on usenet and know how you're getting flamed then they you STFW or STFM.
6 Yes, I just stole a few of Eric Raymond's suggestions, but I'm sure he won't mind.
7 I sometimes use sarcasm, so don't take everything I say seriously.