Now, as you mave into the upper echelons of computer proficency, you'll run into nerds. Lots of them. Maybe you're okay with being around people, cause you're secure in your social position. Or maybe you are a nerd. Whatever it is, you can draw nerds out of their socially deprived lives and engage in actual conversation with them. You just need to know what to talk about. Not all nerds are created equal - they can be into sports, old school arcade games, or whatever under the sum except things that are generally useless, like conversation about celebreties. Have fun with your new friends!1
Since we're dealing with computer nerds, you must know the true history of computing. That way, you'll know what your nerd friends are talking about2.
In the dark ages (1950) the world was coming out of a great war. With the end of the war came a new wave of innovation, whereas man decided that he was too lazy to add 3 digit numbers anymore and decided to get something else to do it for him. Thus, the computer was born. The first computer was made out of vacuum tubes and was enormous, the size of a room. Then man, looking upon his creation, saw that it was good, but it could use a revision to version 2.0. He then made a smaller computer that could add his numbers faster, and he found that he could make computers twice as fast in 18 months3. Around 50 years after he made a new invention, the transistor, to replace the vacuum tubes, he discovered that his fingers were too sticky to go down further4, and so then moore's law failed5.
Then, the macintosh came into being: it was pure. It was easy to use. It proved that there was a market for desktop computers. Man was happy6.
Then, the evil7 Bill Gates was born, and he grew up, only to drop out of college. That was part of the plan, though; he would come back, reincarnted as the owner of windows8 and ready to take over the world. Take over the world he did: mac and linux users have only recently become viable alternatives to the windows OS9.
rAmen10.
In regards to computer nerds, they have at least one computer game lying around their house11. Some favorites are fps like Halo or Half Life/counterstrike, or rts like... well, Ive been out of the loop in this regard, so I'm not sure what's in vouge. Starcraft is definitely still 'in' in korea, that much I know. After all, where else do people die from gaming too much than in korea(50 hours straight)? Online games like WoW are also popular, although calmer games like Second life are sure to have their niches. Gaming is important to the exercise of a computer nerd, as it's the most they'll have move their thumbs all day12, and the new Wii can be a workout.
Currently, the hotspot is at google, who offers bunches of perks, and attracts nerds to no end. Previously, nerds would have flocked in similar numbers to Xerox (if I am not mistaken) and IBM, as previous hotspots. In between, nerds would have worked in any odd place, because the dot-com bubble was still growing, and there was plenty of space to move around in.
No, seriously, last time I heard, alienware computers were the computers to have. If you have some serious money, though, a cray supercomputer is pretty cool, or perhaps a beowulf cluster (doesn't it just sound somewhat cool?)13 Or you could make your own. What's cooler than that?
Significant other: Ohh, this computer doesn't have a company logo on it!
You: That's cause _I_14 built it.
So: *falls in love*15
No, computer nerds know what happens outside of their computing worlds, it's just that those events tend to have more computers involved in them. The two big issues facing computer nerds today are net neutrality and outsourcing of tech jobs.
Up until now, the net has been a 'free' place. You pay the internet bill, and you get access to the entire internet. Some services require more money, but you could find that service without paying money. However, isp's, interested in making more money 16, want to make two parts to the internet: a free, slower moving part, and a faster, paying part. There are lots of nerds that like their free software, and if there was money involved beyond the cost of hosting a server, it could stifle development. Also, new internet companies (startups) don't have whole lot of money, so they would get stifled out of existence with either upper tier fees, or lower tier speed17. The only people a tiered system would benefit are the isp's, so nerds are fighting for a government law to establish net neutrality.
Up until now, software was made exclusively in the US. Now, programming jobs can be moved offshores to different continents, where there are perfectly competent programmers willing to work for less because less is more in their country18. Thus, how do programmers battle their jobs being taken away? One solution is to become better at what you do: be a software architect instead of a programmer. Fighting with laws isn't going to help drive software development, so improving thyself is probably the best solution.
How do you talk to nerd? Definitely not by actually talking: you have to use an im client.
While emoticons aren't exclusive to nerds, some nerds use them: some upper echelon nerds look down on people that use emoticons as immature. No matter: I'm sure you've seen the ubiquitous smile :), or the variation :-), or perhaps the silly :P. Maybe the person has long eyes, like =) or =P. Or maybe s/he's sad = (, or crying =--( Maybe s/he has a tapeworm =O(&) and that's why he's suprised =O and angry >:O. Maybe she's laughing =D. Or maybe not D=.
The same rules that apply to emoticons apply here. Although it doesn't make sense, people use lol alot, event though I'm sure no one is laughing. Another variation is rofl which I won't comment on19. The useful brb can be used to get out of stressful situations. If the stressful situation is really bad, you can use bbl, so you can not be expected for a long time. Using fonics is phun, like using y? or u. Although imho it's cheesy, thx is for showing gratitude. OMG is a standard expression of suprise, although overusing it can lead to an embarassing real-life situation (screaming O-M-G in a mall, for instance). Finally, to great people, you can use a truncated sup?
That's leet/ newbie speak for you. Leet speak works alot with substituting letters with numbers and symbols to make a close representation of that letter, like 5 looks similar to an s. The system was mostly used in games and moderated chats, where saying a 'dirty' word would get you kicked out automatically. Thus, these budding hax0rs tried to circumvent the filter by doing letter replacement. Two notable elements - first, the term pwn. To pwn is an unintentional variation on the word own, and is used in some of the same places: you just got pwned!! is analougous to 'you got punked!!' or 'you got owned!!'. The other notable feature is a somewhat funny over exclamation: U JUs gOTzd PwNd!!!!111, whereas the person continues typing !! after letting up the shift key. Usually a result of typing too fast.
More likely a guy20, he lives is a squalid enviornment that is probably cleaned by other people. He has better things to think about, like how to be a wizardly hax0r21
Who is Master foo? Here are the koans that describe him, once you understand them all, you're very wizardly (I don't get them all, either. I do get most of them.). Here's one of my favorites reproduced below:
A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students. “I hear y00 are very l33t,” he said. “Pl33z teach m3 all y00 know.” Master Foo's students looked at each other, confused by the stranger's barbarous language. Master Foo just smiled and replied: “You wish to learn the Way of Unix?” “I want to b3 a wizard hax0r,” the stranger replied, “and 0wn ever3one's b0xen.” “I do not teach that Way,” replied Master Foo. The stranger grew agitated. “D00d, y00 r nothing but a p0ser,” he said. “If y00 n00 anything, y00 wud t33ch m3.” “There is a path,” said Master Foo, “that might bring you to wisdom.” The master scribbled an IP address on a piece of paper. “Cracking this box should pose you little difficulty, as its guardians are incompetent. Return and tell me what you find.” The stranger bowed and left. Master Foo finished his meal. Days passed, then months. The stranger was forgotten. Years later, the stranger from the land of Woot returned. " I don't like you22!” he said, “I cracked that box, and it was easy like you said. But I got busted by the FBI and thrown in jail.” “Good,” said Master Foo. “You are ready for the next lesson.” He scribbled an IP address on another piece of paper and handed it to the stranger.“Are you crazy?” the stranger yelled. “After what I've been through, I'm never going to break into a computer again!” Master Foo smiled. “Here,” he said, “is the beginning of wisdom.” On hearing this, the stranger was enlightened.
Now you're a nerd! W00t!!11 Let's go and... wait, real nerds program?...