Master Foo's Institute of Technology

Tutorial the Fourth - Harry Potter and the Blue Screen of Death

There is no escape

Yesterday (or 5 minutes ago, or a week ago) we gave you a list of our favorite programs that you could play with. By now, if you've been really adventureous, you should have run into at least one computer-related error (spilling coffee on the keyboard doesn't count). Recovering from such errors without losing all the important work one has done is important, and such recovery techniques will be our focus today.

Example 1 - A javascript run

Click this. If you clicked it, you are a fool1. The link is not a link, but a piece of code that will essentially freeze your browser2. The only way to get out of it will be to kill your browser: do ctrl-alt-delete, Task Manager>Applications>Select Browser>End Task. There are some people that disable right-clicks on their web site by running this code if you try to right click:

image with protection:click me!

It's really quite juvenile. The ctrl-alt-delete works for most everything that refuses to respond.

Example 2 - Deep Freeze

If ctrl-alt-delete doesn't work, because the entire desktop is "frozen" and won't respond, then you have essential one option: do a hard shutdown. You can wait for a few minutes if the mouse is moving, because ctrl-alt-delete may work, but most cases of a frozen computer will need you to reboot. Rebooting entails pressing the same power button that you press to start up your computer, and perhaps holding it for 5 seconds or more.

In cases like these, you'll lose the information you've been working on. If you're used to using ctrl-s, then it won't be too bad: perhaps a few lines off a document. If you haven't been using ctrl-s, then you should get in the habit of using it often, perhaps everytime you finish a paragraph. It'll save you from having to tell a fantastic story on how you lost a night's work after you were nearly done with a project, all without saving, and your computer crashed.

Example 3 - Power Failure

In this case, the "error" could be entirely natural, such as in a severe storm. If power is merely cut off, then you can boot back into your computer and continue on your merry way (once power comes back, of course).

In the event of a power surge, though, you might be in a bit of a pickle. If you skimped and didn't buy a surge protector3, then your cpu (well, anything in your computer) might be fried. It depends: try booting back up. If something happens, then you might need to replace a part. Determining which part might be easy (no internet? perhaps a fried ethernet card) but replacing it is beyond the scope of this tutorial. My advice is to go find your local hardware nerd, take him to lunch, and have him take a look.

If you overloaded a power strip4, well, then that's your fault. Go get another strip and stop being cheap with your power.

Example 4 - An aggresive piece of malware

Back in the dark ages of the internet, I got a worm5. Yes, one of the writers. It was a particularly bad worm, garnered media attention. It would shut down your computer after a few minutes, and if you tried to update your computer using the usual windows site, then it would crash some more. Somehow, after Microsoft released a patch, we stayed online long enough to get the update and save the day.

That's the second line of defense in the face of a nasty piece of malware: make sure your computer is updated. The first is to have a healthy firewall and virus scanner, and use common sense. The third... well, there really isn't a third line of defense6. You can just wait.

Example 5 - Hardware failure

This is it: the error to end all errors. The BSOD7. The BSOD is the this sort of screen:

text

or, as an image:

image

which could signify one of several things:

The only thing to do is follow the instructions on the BSOD, and perhaps google the technical information, or ask on some support forum.

Now that you have an inkling of what to do when an error strikes (don't sit there and stare and the screen), we'll move onto a happier topic: the internet9.


1 Sorry for the harsh words, but you are. Look before you click
2 If you're running under firefox, firefox will eventually stop and ask if you want to stop the script. Very helpful.
3 Thanks to Wikipedia for reminding me the word for surge protector!
4 put too many plugs in a strip at once.
5 If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, read up on security first.
6 If you think Microsoft is too slow, or the piece of malware specifically targeted at you (in which case you might be paranoid; I recommend a psychiatrist), then you can try a linux boot disk. Okay, I'm sorry for even mentioning it. What is a boot disk? What is linux? This is far outside the scope of this tutorial (Somewhere around Pluto (LONG LIVE PLUTO THE PLANET)) and if you have a friend that's also a nerd versed in the intricacies of Windows and Linux, he might be able to do use a boot disk to rescue you. Might.
7 Vista took out the BSOD.
8 I am quite serious. We are sure that one of our computers are fine, but random BSODs keep happening, once in a great while. And nothing comes of it.
9 So it's not really that jolly, but what can you do?