[Facebook] Ask me something, redux
So I really didn’t like that last story, so I decided to do another one. Hope this one came out better.
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Status update: i’m super bored so ask me something [link]
Beg your pardon?
Yeah, that’s my super power. I know, it doesn’t sound like much…
No, I mean, my hearing isn’t what it used to be. They had to reclassify it as non-super hearing a few years back, and had to hook me up to this hearing aid in the last month, so…
Ah, okay. So my super power (she paused to gesture at herself) is inducing severe boredom in people.
And how is that a super power? I know plenty of people that can lull nearly any one to sleep, including (especially!) several senators.
Well, I don’t have to actually talk to anyone: I can snap my fingers and induce an irrepressible feeling of boredom in people.
But how is that useful?
Oh, you bore the guard and sneak past him while he’s fixated on the TV. Works like a charm. Or, my favorite one was when I bored my adversary so much that he stopped fighting me and sulked off to work on his latest gadget.
Interesting. (He took another sip from his tumbler, smoothing out his suit with the other hand while gazing out the window. It certainly was a beautiful nightscape, he thought. Whoever chose this mansion overlooking the bay certainly had good taste.)
I know, right? That stunt was the one that actually got me into the league, if you didn’t know already; but you must know, they must pass all the applicants past you. Right?
(He gave a wan smile and took another sip.)
(She also turned to look out the window) I still can’t believe I’m actually in the league, fighting crime and all that. I actually get a costume and my own press agent and worldwide transportation and complimentary dry cleaning (her breath caught in her throat for a bit, before she jerked her head inquisitively around)… say, you must have a lot of stories, being the original man of steel and all that. What was your last… job like?
Boring.
What?
I responded to mail and played golf.
No… I mean your crime fighting job.
It’s been years.
What?
I’ve been a desk jockey for at least 5 years.
Oh, like head of the league?…
No, I’m merely a figurehead (another wan smile). I happen to be too important to the managers of the league to fall, so they stuck me behind a desk in the most secure building in the world.
Which building is that?
Our headquarters, of course. I’m surrounded by supers of all shapes and sizes, although to be honest I’m not sure if they thought you could bore missles out of existence or not.
(Wait…)
Well, it was nice being bored with you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get another drink.
(He ambled out of the dark sitting room, back into the main body of the party. She stayed alone in the darkened room, limply holding her wine glass. Well, she thought, it was a beautiful twilight over the sea…)
(The bay exploded in a fireball, and